COLD IS A RELATIVE THING

65 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Michigan plant gardens.
60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Michigan sunbathe.
50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Michigan drive with the windows down..
40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Michigan throw on a flannel shirt.
35 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Michigan have the last cookout before it gets cold.
20 above Zero
People in Miami all die.
Michiganders close the windows.
Zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico .
People in Michigan get out their winter coats.
10 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Michigan are selling cookies door to door.
20 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Michigan let the dogs sleep indoors.
30 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Michiganders get upset because they can't start the Snow-mobile.
40 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops .
People in Michigan start saying...'Cold enough fer ya?'
50 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Michigan public schools will open 2 hours late