Snow. ..

Make it stop

Look, I'm as big a fan of winter as they come. I love sledding, I love the pretty fairyland all that white stuff falling from the sky creates. I'm not afraid to drive in it and as long as the schools don't close their doors, depriving me of my few hours of respite from my offspring, I'm happy to go to work, go shopping, go wherever.

My animals, however, would really appreciate a break. Horses, despite any evidence to the contrary, believe that the moment the snow starts falling that they are going to starve to death. It doesn't matter how fat and shiny they happen to be, how much hay is in the feeder and buckets of sweet feed they get, they are convinced that starvation is just around the corner. The moment they sight you in the window or hear the back door open, they rush the fence, then stare at you with haunted eyes. Its enough to make you lose sleep.

The dogs hate potty time, but since they refuse to learn to flush the toilet, outdoors it is. And the big fella, the nearly 60# pitiful Pit Bull, has gotten it into his brain that he is somehow too weak and fragile to go outside to pee in the snow. He stands at the door, looking at me with reproach in his eyes. I can't go out there. Yes, yes you can. No, I can't. I'll die. I'll freeze. The snow might eat me. Look, buddy, I don't care if your pecker falls off from the cold, you're going OUT THERE to do your thing. You are the meanest human being that ever lived. I know, my offspring remind me of that fact approximately every thirty seconds. Now go. Out. Go. Fine, I'll go. But I'm peeing on your front porch and entry way garden and tires and. . . here.

When is spring again?